December
monthly and end-of-year recap!!!
*would highyl suggest reading on a desktop or tablet device… the pictures take up the whole screen and I don’t know how to change that *laughing emoji*
Blog Cover: 20th Birthday Portrait, photographed by elecia mcbean
Wow…. I mean wow. What a year it’s been. It somehow went so fast and so slow, evermore proving that time is a construct invented by humans to track linear progression, but I digress.
2025 was the year of the snake, and boy did I shed. All year I shed patterns that no longer served me, old relationship habits, both romantic and platonic, friendships, a manchild doctor (iykyk), but most importantly, I shed each version of myself that I no longer aligned with. I changed my mind, again and again and again. My standards increased, I honored my time, my value, and spent this year with people who love every version of me, who I was, and who I will become.
And to wrap up the last month of the year, I was really busy. After a calm and chill November, I had an explosion of activity in December, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Being an adult means you have adult money, so for my Birthday gift to myself, I invested in a haul of *ahem* gardening supplies. AND THEY’RE SO CUTE! Burning Love might be my favorite gardening store now
Something really big I did this month: I changed my hair! And while yes, people change their hair all the time, it took me a year to finally execute the style I wanted and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out! Shout-out to Shaylee for helping me make my vision a reality :’)
I feel even more myself with this hair!
My dear friend Shaylee came to visit! This was her second time in New York, and we had a full itinerary planned of NY Christmas touristy things, Heathers the musical viewing, and my birthday plans!
That night started my birthday celebrations, in which we went to Mezze on the River, a tasty Mediterranean place, and had a photo shoot with my friends <3
After dinner, we went to QCNY Spa on Governer’s Island! I had never been to a spa, and it did not disappoint! They had an outdoor heated pool with views of the city skyline, several different kinds of saunas, a face scrub, a salt body scrub, relaxation rooms and water rooms, my favorite being this dimly lit steam room called Starlight Serenade, where they played meditative music and it smelled like eucalyptus and lavender! I also displayed a new swimsuit that I found on etsy!
It was such a fun and relaxing night! I had an absolute blast, reset my nervous system, and realized I want to go to that spa with once a month lmao. When we left it started snowing, and it was a magical way to end a magical day <3
The following day, Shaylee and I went to fifth ave, radio city music hall, Rockefeller center to see the tree, then Herald Square, where they had a Christmas and Nutcracker themed carousel, a small holiday market where we got alcoholic hot chocolate ($20 but totally worth it), met some nice Jewish boys who made very good baklava, then ate Japanese curry in k-town before we hopped on over to New World Stages to see Heathers the musical!
Heathers was INCREDIBLE obviously! Afterwards, we went back home for an early night, watched Christmas movies, and Tre helped us make a VERY cute ginger house! And no, I’m not biased; I know cute when I see it!!!
I mean look at all their little tiny woodland creature faces!!! (RIP the squirrel carcass in front of the house lmao)
The next day, Shaylee and I went to the holiday market in Union Square, where we shopped and browsed all the goodies! I bought a necklace for my mom and knowing that money went to a small business and not a corporation or chain store made it all the more special
We then ran a VERY important errand (we went to Dazed, the dispensary in Union Square), and came back for another early night to prep for the day after, my biiiirthdaaayyyyyyy
We started off the morning right: Tangled, mimosas, The Princess and the Frog, then a hearty breakfast of cinnamon roll spread on toast and cheesy ranch scrambled eggs, my current breakfast favorite :) My one goal for the day, besides making it to plans on time, was to bake my birthday cake, a Blackberry Velvet Gothic cake I had found on Pinterest weeks prior. Shaylee ended up making 90'% of the cake while I got ready, and she excelled. I’m talking A+++++.
Once we were ready, we headed to Times Square, to meet Kristen to do the birthday activity I picked out: an interactive game show! We faced off against another group of people who were there for a work team-bonding outing, and Blue team won! It was mini games that we were randomly assigned, so we played ones like wheel of fortune, jeopardy, and an associations game. We had Tim as our host, and did excellent, even though he was nervous about it being his first day! They even let me pick out two pins for free as my birthday gift :) I love a game show so I definitely will be back!!!
After the game show, we met jess zarr at Spicy Moon in West Village! We had the crabless rangoons, a baby moon mocktail, a moon bowl with mushroom “beef”, a veggie teriyaki, the dandan noodles with chicken and another with beef, and then for dessert, we had the cake!
I made a core memory that night, making a wish and blowing out my candles as my friends surrounded me with all their love and support :) And my god, that cake was to DIE for
Peep the birthday fit, and the cat-shaped post-it notes Jess got me :’D
Birthday wishes: Feeling so blessed and loved and lucky
Thus concludes Shaylee’s visit, because she had to leave for her flight that same night. Shaylee if you’re reading this, I love you so much and I’m so glad I got to spend all this time with you :)
Before leaving to go back to the midwest for the holidays, I baked sugar cookies and iced them with the leftover cake frosting, then gave them to our Super Ben, who’s wonderful so i wanted to show my appreciation!
Then I made the perilous trek of navigating Penn station through the holiday rush. I took two trains and the airport shuttle to Newark, and thank god I only do that once a year haha
The next day, I hit the ground running and started my pre-planned schedule. I had a lot of friends and family to see and only seven days to do it, and somehow, some way, I pulled it off. Firstly, I visited my the graves of my grandparent’s who are buried in the same cemetery as James Dean in Fairmount, Indiana. I have always loved this cemetery, for it’s peace and tranquility that perseveres all yar round, despite the weather
Next I visited Sundy who I know from high school and sang in show choir with! She made us tea in these cute teacups and saucers (pictured below) and I got to spend time with her her two kids! They’re both under six, and so adorable. They both kept trying to get my attention the whole time I was there lol
That evening I saw my friend Lexxie, another friend from high school who I also sang with in show choir, but really bonded in our shared art classes :) We ate a NY style white pie at Bad Dad Brewery and then stargazed in my parent’s backyard. Was it cold? Absolutely it was, but the stars were so clear and bright! And my mom brought us hot choccy :) I stargazed as much as I could when I was in Indiana, because there’s too much light pollution in NYC to see the stars clearly. I miss them, but that makes me appreciate a starry, clear night even more so.
The next day, I went with my mom to Payne’s in Gas City, Indiana, one of my favorite local spots with a variety of British cuisine. I always get the apple brie and walnut grilled cheese with sweet potato apple ginger soup, black tea, and the sticky toffee pudding, and man of man was it delicious :) I also happened to run into a girl I used to dance with in high school! It felt like kismet
My mom and I, straight-faced then a silly one
Below are a few landscape shots of the midwest. It has a wide-open beauty to it, and the sun displays can be spectacular. The last shot was on a foggy night, giving a spooky, Midwest gothic feel
That afternoon, I headed to see my friend Haley! We went to the Dark side coffee shop (all Star Wars themed and yes, I nerded out), then headed back to get ready for our main plan: the Christkindlmart in Carmel, IN.
Before you ask why there are so many photos of just one cat, let me tell you: this is Haley’s mother’s newest kitten, a mild-tempered Himalayan named Hamilton, otherwise known as Hammie, HamHam, Alexander Hamilton, Hamster, Sir Ham-a-lot, Mr. Hamhocks, and I could go on. I’m obsessed. He purred on my chest as I scratched under his neck and baby-talked him, so yeah. We’re bonded for life now. LOOK AT THAT FACE. WHO WOULDN’T BE OBSESSED WITH THAT FACE?!?!??!?!
We then made our way to Chrsitkindlmart, which has quickly become a holiday tradition of ours! They decorate the plaza in Carmel with little shops selling food, gifts, trinkets, and enough alcohol to kill an elephant, with a giant ice-skating rink in the middle (pls don’t drink and skate, thx)
Haley helped me film so wonderful content for Letters, we got plenty of good stuff to eat, listened to local artists cover holiday tunes, and enjoyed the overall ambiance that the holiday market brings. I felt like the lead in a hallmark movie, living out my girl from the big city meets a cute local who opens a bakery/bookstore/cat adoption/alsohappenstobethemayor plot!
I GOT THE STINKY CHEESE SANDWICH!!! Otherwise known as the Raclette. I get this thing once a year and I think about it all. year. long. This sandwich lives in my mind, rent-free. The sweet and tangy gerkins, the crusty fluffy bread, the cheesy ooey gooey goodness. it is perfection, and I still eat it despite my tummy not likiing it lol
After we got back from the holiday market, I did tarot reading for Haley’s discord community, lowkey read them to filth ( that was not my intention haha), and then we started Paprika but I was too tired to finish it. The next morning we made fancy coffee, ate these mushroom and cheese puff pastries, and we chilled for a bit before I had to go to my next plan :) I love you so much Haley, I had the best time <3
I got my lashes done by the talented Rhamy Havens, in which we yapped for two hours straight and caught up on the lore. I miss getting my lashes done regularly, but it’s expensive to do in New York *tear emoji*. I sadly didn’t get any pictures with Rhamy *more teary emoji* but we did see each other later in the week!
That night I saw Kaytie, another friend from high school I did show choir with! We went to Sokuri, a korean place in downtown Kokomo, and hot damn, the food was excellent. We yapped about Heated Rivalry, more lore drops, and the culture of K-pop. Overall such a good night, and it ended all too soon :’)
The next day was Christmas Eve, and I headed over to Sam and Evan’s to spend time with them! I played with my nephew, Mochi, and Sam used her barista experience to make me an EXCELLENT iced caramel macchiato. She also gifted me a Stanley with little goodies inside, then we cozied up on the couch to Heated Rivalry. What are friends for, if not to chill on the couch together and watch boys yearn for one another?
I had to head back early to help cook and bake, so once I arrived at my parents, I went straight to work. I helped my mom make christmas crack, then baked cinnamon rolls from scratch using the same recipe from thanksgiving, although I improved it so they tasted even better than last time
It’s my family’s tradition to watch Christmas Vacation on Christmas Eve, so we dug out the VHS tape and cackled together.
Christmas morning we had to rush through gifts a bit, but the most exciting gifts included my dad’s big-ass lump of coal and his spam underwear lmao
We then had brunch with my aunts and uncles and we had a proper feast. Everything turned out so tasty! I wore clothes that I received for Christmas to the festivities lol
The following day, I met Rhamy again for Mexican food and had a delectable mushroom and veggie quesadilla
That evening, I got thai food with my friend/forever work-wife Nikki, then went back to her place to yap and pet her cats, George and Kida <3
On my last full day in Indiana, I met up with my friend Ash (who I’ve known since fifth grade!), had a greasy diner breakfast and chit-chatted about Heated Rivalry, to the horror of the other (and older) patrons ;) I wore my vintage Jonas Brothers (circa 2006) t-shirt becuase I knew they would appreciate it, and they did :)))
My last plan of the week was to see my friend Erin from college! I saw her new apartment, then we went book shopping. I had never been to a Half-Price Books before, and I ended up blacking out from sheer joy and bought $150 worth of books, which caused my checked bag to be overweight. Sorry not sorry, and now I’m well-stocked for 2026!
We ate pho from a great place we’ve ate at before! Then took it back to her apartment, listened to the albums of our tween eras, and read tarot. A Sensational evening :)
Alas, it was time to journey back. 4 hours of sleep, one stuffed suitcase, two airports and an uber later, and I made it back to New York, safe and sound. Do you think the cats missed me?
Peep the poster I got at half-price books, proudly hanging in our hallway
My local Trader Joe’s hosted Gingerbread House Contest and these were the winners!
While I had a little time to chill after my trip to the midwest, I didn’t have long until NYE approached. The Empire State Building and others dazzled :) Then I went home and got ready for the plans, one of them being nineties-themed, so I went for a whimsigoth look, in which I think I pulled off very well! And the makeup was so fun. Might have to do it all time…
The first party of the night was hosted by our neighbor (Mike)’s friend, with their apartment being close to the East River. Despite it being a small aprtment it was cozy! We drank, chatted, and I imparted my elder wisom on young writers. And of course I found the two cats and instantly befriended them
Next, Tre, Jemra and I met Kristen, thier girlfriend and their group of friends at Planet Rose for karaoke! We got there at 11:50, and quickly procured champagne to toast to. The ambiance was a vibe, but when I went to sing “Somebody to Love” by Queen, it was pitched five keys below the original. I emabrassed myself and Freddie, so I need to go back to karaoke STAT and make it right
Kristen and Margaret honored High School Musical and lesbians by singing the duet “The Start of Something New”. Look how cute they are :’) <3 Oh yeah and we managed to almost break the machine LMAO
I went back to the apartment around one, was asleep by 2:15, woke up to eat taco bell with Tre and Jemra, then went back to sleep and woke up at a whopping 2pm, but hey, that’s what New Year’s Day is for. Overall, it was a great way to end 2025, being surrounded by good vibes and the people I love <3
Spotify Wrapped:
Ngl, I’m underwhelmed with my spotify wrapped this year, but that’s okay beciase I will be ditching Spotify soon for a more ethical music app. I just recently transitioned from Goodreads to Storygraph, so Spotify is next on the chopping block (and rightfully so for running ICE ads *puke emoji*)
And here is my last and final goodreads stats:
Bye bye Bezos!!!!
Random City Pics: NYC is always THAT GWORL
CATTY COMPILATION:
and these two divas… who are they? I must know
MEMES OF THE MONTH:
WHAT I’M WRITING:
While my momentum has slowed a bit this month since I was so busy, here’s what did happen!
Seasonal Fruits Literary Magazine is publishing two of my poems,“I Wrote This Poem in Your Windshield Frost”, and “Seasonal Affective Disorder”, set to be published in their winter issue! I will post more once I know the publication details :)
My short horror story, Trespasser, was published in Route 7 Review! Read it here at this link! I’m so glad this weird little story found a home :)
I filmed quite a bit of marketing content for Letters! Keep an eye on my socials to see what I’ve been cooking up!
And lastly, I updated my website and started reading through the sequel to my fantasy romance to start editing. Draft 2, letsfuckinggooooooooooo
WHAT I’M READING:
Currently Reading:
Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L Wang
The Odyssey by Homer
The Dark Planet by Patrick Carmen
Finished:
Rivers of Fire by Patrick Carmen
The Epic of Gilgamesh
Your Head is a Houseboat: A Chaotic Guide to Mental Clarity by Campbell Walker
The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong
Mate by Ali Hazelwood
The Egyptian Book of the Dead
Did I reach my reading goal of 100 books read this year? Nope. I swung in at a solid 81, though, and that’s still a win.
WHAT I’M WATCHING:
FRANKENSTEIN… Guillermo Del Toro, Mary Shelley saved a seat in heaven for you. A cosplay from this is cooking in my brain…
Andor
The Chair Company
Devil Man Cry Baby
True Blood
I Love LA
Gachiakuta
Color out of Space
HEATED RIVALRY … iykyk. Let’s yap about it. *nonchalantly* It’s taking over my life
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO:
The Heated Rivalry soundtrack
Dopamine by Robyn
party4u by Charlie XCX
my Yule playlist, mostly creepy choral covers of classic hymns
it’s honestly whatever I’m in the mood for. I’m an intuitive music enjoyer in that way. call it pickiness, call it the ‘tism
WHAT I’M PLAYING:
I was too busy in December to play video games lmao
So.
I had so much fun this month, spent my time with good people and made sure they knew I love them <3
I haven’t made a new years resolution in years, but I know in 2026 I want to lean even more into my authenticity, and to keep discovering myself. It will be the last year in my twenties, and in this past decade, I’ve been through a lot, but I love the person I’ve become, and want to explore even deeper parts of myself. I want to show up so authentically, that I inspire others to do the same. And that’s very punk-rock. That’s very anti-conformity, antifa, anti-patriarchy of me, and all of those things, I want to embody completely.
Stay the course. Same time next month?
With Slay,
Holly
I like to celebrate my birthday but your was epic! It's good to have good friends.